How To Handle Commentators Who Disagree With Your Writing
Posted: Monday, February 25, 2008
by Stephany Springer
As someone who has worked as a writer for some time, I have seen lots of arguments in the comment sections of articles. A person will leave a comment in disagreement of an issue that a writer wrote about, then the writer will respond negatively or rudely and the matter escalates until it seems there is no end in sight. I know writing is scary enough when writing what is on your heart. I used to want to go lock myself in a closet and throw a big pity party anytime I received any criticism or disagreement on something I wrote. I took it all personally. After all, I had poured my heart and soul into the project. I saw it as a personal rejection instead of what it was: a disagreement of ideology or just a heartfelt desire for me to make improvements.
So how do react graciously? I have to admit this is something that took me a long time to learn and I have yet to master it. These are just a few of the principles I try to do when responding. If I can't do them, I do not respond at all.
Show respect
First off, the person that found your article clicked on it because they thought the title was interesting. They did not single you out to destroy. They have no hidden agenda. Most likely something in your title made them believe that your article was worth taking time out of their super busy day to read. The least you can do is show respect with your response. How do you do that? Don't attack their grammar, sentence structure or even venture a guess at who they are. You most likely have no clue what their life is like. So don't attack the person.
Always start with a positive
Look for something in their comment to make a positive remark about. I always start the majority of my comments with "Thanks for commenting." You do want to thank them even if they disagree with you. You write to share your ideas-don't take away their opportunity to share their ideas as well. You should welcome positive and negative comments. At least your article moved someone to take the time to comment.
Don't take it personally
When we look at art, we don't condemn the artist but instead the work of the artist. Most people commenting on your article don't know you from Adam but they know the content. Keep that in mind. So what if your bio tells about you. Do you think a paragraph or two can sum up the whole of who you are? Don't take it personally-it makes you look unprofessional. I learned this one the hard way.
Be Careful What You Say
A lot of times we write from our heart about our beliefs. A lot of our topics are subjective. That means what I write may not be the end all right answer to whatever problem I am tackling. That means someone may know more than me on a subject, even if I am an expert in that field. No one knows everything except God. It is important for me not to pretend that I do. So make sure you have proof for your thoughts and leave it at that. Don't keep trying to persuade someone to come to your side or further defend what you wrote.
Listen To The Comment
When reading a text comment sometimes we misinterpret what is actually said. It is important to not jump the gun and just attack the comment. Try to figure out what the person is trying to say. Is their point valid? What are some good aspects about their point? How can you disagree with their point factually? How can you show your side without attacking, disrespecting or looking unprofessional? Is there even a need to once again point out your disagreement or does your article already show your complete thoughts?
Follow these steps. Then address the comment. I am not saying you have to agree or ignore comments left. I am just saying present your argument in a professional manner.
Remember the point of comments is to foster an exchange of ideas. By attacking the person who left the comment or disrespecting their thoughts, that is not accomplished. The great thing about our society is that we are all different. Articles and comments gives us a way to show those differences.
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Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)Hi Stephanie, what a great article and good advice- I have seen some pretty heated debates, we would all do well to follow these guidelines. Thanks for sharing! Blessings to you,TeresaThanks Teresa for the sweet sentiment!
Good article Stephany, and I'm not just saying that to make you feel good. The points you make transcend writing and should be practiced in everyday conversations as well. Thank you. MichaelThanks Michael! I can imagine how much my everyday conversations would improve by following these guidelines. Great point! Thanks again for commenting!
Good points, Stephany. Every author will have someone who disagrees once in a while. If not for differing opinions, this world would be a pretty boring place.LM- Thanks so much for commenting! I couldn't agree more with you! I can't imagine a life where we all believed the same things! I agree it would be very boring! Thanks again!
I couldn't agree more. Also, you are right in mentioning that at least someone who leaves on a negative note at least arrived there because the title was interesting. As P.T. once said, any press is good press. Thanx for the informative articleThanks for commenting! Great point!
Applause! Excellent Stephany! Thanks so very much for sharing this with us.Thanks Avis for the comment! You are too kind!
Great job Stephany! Maybe you should write an article about how to leave constructive comments!Jean-what a thought! I should get working! Thanks for commenting!
Superb article, Stephany. I'm glad someone finally broached this subject. I always worry about stepping on someone's toes when I write and try hard not to be disrespectful with my responses to negative comments. I will keep your article in mind the next time I write (or read). Thanks for thoughts. SEGThanks Sandra! Glad I could be of some help!
Stephany, I can only say ditto all the above. One of those articles where you wish you had written it yourself! :) HannahThanks Hannah for the kind words!
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